Little miss muffet had an accident on her tuffet
These past few weeks have sure been fun! I went into an intensive outpatient program for a mental juice cleanse, if you will. Basically, they flooded my emotional intestines with a laxative and then acted surprised when I diarrhead all over my emotional-self and went catatonic for a moment.
Honestly, I was jealous of the other patients in the program with me. Some of them were child-free, or had less than 4 children. Don’t get me wrong, I knew all of us were there for a reason, all of us were struggling with some sort of emotional overload. And I gets it. Their pain is absolutely real. I just wanted to swap kids with them.
Whilst I sat at the proverbial throne of emotional digestion, I was attacked by a toddler who was determined to play in the non-proverbial throne, or I think in his mind he calls it the flusher. He also enjoys dumping my salad across my kitchen, setting the dog loose from the backyard, and discovering what a hammer can do to my GLASS windows (luckily, they didn’t break!). This all happened in about 5 minutes.
Meanwhile, my 4-year-old is arguing with me as to why it is absolutely impossible for him to pick up his shoes that were left out in the hallway. The 7-year-old had a meltdown about how picking up salad is gross, and apparently unconstitutional. He requires gloves for all floor cleaning duties. And the 9-year-old who was supposed to be running interference with the toddler from hell was playing on Alexa. Guess what friends. This is my life. There is no pause button any more. And that’s ok. I had to face the reality of my life right now. Its chaos, and it is all gloriously my own. Salads can be picked up, windows replaced, and toilet water washed off.
I was really proud of the courage it took to take a Xanax and say, “Goodbye clean house!” Some of you may be thinking Xanax is not that hard to take. Why should taking what is essentially a break from reality in a bottle be a courageous act? BECAUSE I WANT TO CONTROL MY REALITY! Letting go of the control is huge. Relaxing and laughing at the moment instead of going ape on everyone is a BIG DEAL. So, relax, laugh a little, and remember to love the crazy diarrhetic times. They don’t last forever.
Oh my gosh, Karra, this is my life!!!! Yesterday as we were leaving for church, the monster ripped all the toilet paper off the roll in the 1st floor bathroom. While I hurried to clean it up so the cat wouldn’t TP the house while we were gone, said monster took his non-spill milk bottle and managed to SPILL the milk on the inside of my shoes. I ate half a box of Russel Stover chocolates that I was planning to give my hubs for V-day to counterbalance the stress. Let’s plan that mom-cation.
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